Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
