For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
