i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Girls should come with a carfax report
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
