i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
