I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
