pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is Oprah even human
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
