I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
