I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
