I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
