Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
