She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
