Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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