All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
