Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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