everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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