Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize