officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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