the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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