you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
as a side note pls kill me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize