my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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