He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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