My hand turned me down
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
