GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
