I want to have your abortion
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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