Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
