is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
40s are totally the cure
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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