Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
