he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
