ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
