There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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