Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
