He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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