everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
