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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  this medicine is soooo good.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  You should get more absorbent shoes.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign

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• (631): View more from New York

  he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.

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• (714): View more from California

  Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  What are you, a fucking toaster ?

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