Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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