I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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