It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
