even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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