sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
