If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
