Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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