Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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