even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
