no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
