She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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