Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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