hell yes lets make some ravioli
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
