Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
