roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize