Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
