I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
