...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
