i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i think i just lost a toe
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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