people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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