I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Drunk is a universal language darling
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