Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
