none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
