i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
