the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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