that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
where are you?
Hypothermia
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize