wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
