I am puke
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
