M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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