So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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