if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
